Dr. Gordon Lee on Rekindling the Fire in our Hearts

Capturing the Moment by Rekindling the Movement of the Heart
An API Faith and Justice Gathering
October 20-21, 2007
http://www.psr.edu/pana.cfm?m=302

Reflections by Gordon Lee

On October 20 and 21 a group of folks met at the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, California. People shared personal stories, anecdotes. Being together we talked, laughed, ate, got to know and to be ourselves with each other. Some were surprised to find so many connections in the room. Some found a new sense of belonging. Many felt validated in an Asian American and Pacific Island space. We found warm hearts, openness, diversity in unity, be-longing with different ages and ethnicities. Meeting people in our communities who shared visions and concerns, we experienced a new culture that brought us closer together.

It was a rich experience. A lot of interesting things happened. But it was not always easy to analyze or to verbalize. Perhaps it was part of the beginning of a beginning – feeling the pain and identifying the needs of a part of our local communities – awakening our longing for communitas, a pueblo unido, a place where justice, faith, and our humanity can meet and be – and getting just a taste of what it might be like to be in such a community.

Saturday was intense. We began by remembering, recognizing that we are standing on the wisdom and suffering of others, past and present, and on the individuals and movements that have come before us through a beautiful visual meditation prepared by Rev. Israel Alvaran. The first session of sharing our deep longings as people of faith and justice was very revealing, and it took a lot for people to expose themselves. People felt a willingness to be open to new experiences, and it was received with compassion and care.

Saturday afternoon’s session expressed pain, fear, support, and intimacy. Colleen “Coke” Tani- Nakamoto and Elizabeth Leung carefully led us through a practice of revisiting our bodies as sacred sites, the places where seven generations of wisdom, racial trauma, and resistance are carried. For some, it opened up spaces of connection, yet, at the same time, exposed the alienation and suffering, grieving and pain, that we are often numb to or in denial of (the stuff that gets in the way). It was powerful to have that space and to become one movement, focusing on our similar struggles and stories of suffering. As one person said, it was a privilege and honor to share the raw emotions that came out and to be able to respond to them. Sometimes, you could just feel and didn’t have to say anything. What was important was to know that people heard and understood. To feel that it was real and tangible.

On Saturday afternoon it was important to be able to hear and recognize those among us who are living a working class reality. Seeing and hearing their situations helped others put a mirror to themselves. In response, some of us asked ourselves, can we walk away from our past and live a middle class lifestyle? Or, do we hold onto that core of experience that shaped us and our families? To some extent we still live in a working class reality because it is a part of our core identities, but we sometimes forget. It reminded us about who we are, and it helped us to remember a sense of a common class struggle.

For some Saturday had reaffirmed their sense of “calling” and “grabbing something and taking hold of it.” For others it created an opportunity to look inside. To realize that we don’t often get to do this, even in movement work. For others Saturday made us mad but also sad as we realized how lacking is the soul and the spirit of our common ground. I hear you, I see you, is no longer a part of our vocabulary, our day to day life. That belonging as a part of a family– the sense that you might screw up, but the knowing that we’ll work it through - is hard to find. The feeling that you’re not alone, that there’s something beyond that, a sense of loving and caring.

On Sunday morning, it was as if a new energy had entered the room. There was a sense that the previous days had not just focused on goals, but was a pause that allowed everyone to breathe and reflect. Through the sharing of pain and wisdom our collective spirits had become more tangible. With this spirit we anxiously broke into small groups to share our practices of the heart—practices of integration that sustain us and foster life. After the discussions, we reflected told our stories, about the state of our communities, about the challenges of our times, and about where we want to go.

Eleazar Fernandez pointed out that the causes of our suffering are not just external but within us as well. That’s often why they are so hard to address and get rid of. He also noted that this gathering was part of an emerging movement. Most significantly, he asked us, how do we learn to deal with the “stuff that gets in the way?” How do we deal with our internalized shadows? How do we develop a praxis of the heart. What does this mean for and how does it help organizations and individuals in the social justice, faith, and Asian American and Pacific Island communities?

Lloyd Wake was moved by the weekend, especially of the stories and experiences of younger people. He pointed out that the experience and expressions of spirituality of younger generations are not only meaningful to them but also to older folks. Lloyd felt that he learned a lot from and came to a deeper appreciation of the younger community.

Most of all it was the willingness of the participants to engage in different and sometimes uncomfortable ways that created a liberated zone. As Aurora Morales (1998) wrote: "A stance of opposition creates a liberated territory, a psychological space in which we can act on the belief that we deserve complete freedom and dignity even when achieving such freedom collectively is still out of reach. The refusal to cooperate with our dehumanization even when we may not yet be able to stop it is the most essential ingredient of our liberation."

Dr. Gordon Lee is PANA's 2007-2008 Civil Liberty and Faith Visiting Scholar.